Fox Mulder:
No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we will find it.

Dana Scully:
There is a logical, scientific explanation for the chicken crossing the road.We need more evidence.

Walter Skinner:
<teeth clenched>You've got 24 hours to find out why that @!!*@!@ chicken crossed the road!!!

CSM: 
<blows puff of smoke> There was no chicken.

Alex Krycek:
Because he can't decide WHAT side he's really on.

Byers:
It was trying to escape the most heinous and evil force of the twentieth century.

Langly:
It was on its way to the grassy knoll, dude.

Frohike:
<snapping a photo> I don't know, but she's hot.

Bill Mulder:
It heard the words, and they made sense to it....merchandise...fryer parts....

Mrs. Mulder:
I have told you that I don't remember any chicken.

Mrs. Scully:
I had a dream about the chicken being taken away....

Melissa Scully:
The chicken needed to get in touch with its inner self, to find the light and the good.It was in a very dark place...

Bill Scully, Sr.:
One day the chicken and I will be together again...

Bill Scully, Jr.:
Dana, you spend too much time worrying about chickens... for HIM? You should be home with your family!

Queequeg:
Woof! (translation: to avoid being eaten by Big Blue.)

Agent Pendrell:
To get Dana a birthday present.

The Well-Manicured Man:
It will cross the road in one of two ways....

Deep Throat:
Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a very long time ago. Trust no fowl.

X:
The chicken is choosing a dangerous time to cross alone. The road is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous.

Marita Covarrubias:
I don't know how much I can tell you about the chicken.... Oh yessssss, the chickenssssss.How much time do you have?

Jeremiah Smith:
I can't tell you right now why the chicken crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll show you....

The Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter:
Tell me where the chicken is!

Section Chief Blevins:
We trust that the chicken made the proper decision about crossing the road.

Mrs Budahas:
That <gasp, shudder> is *not* my chicken

Emil and Zoe (stoner kids):
I dunno, but I sure hope he stayed away from the - heh heh - *landmines* and junk!

Tom Colton:
At this point I'm willing to accept any theory as to why the chicken crossed the road--any sane theory.I'm sorry, Dana, but I only want qualified chickens at the intersection.

Eugene Tooms:
Mmm...pate...

Det. Frank Briggs:
I've been waiting... sixty years... for the chicken to cross that road.

Darlene Morris:
Why do you want to know? So that the chicken can face the same ridicule I did years ago when *I* crossed the road? You stay away from my chicken.

Ellen (Scully's friend):
Well - first it had to get a life. And... a rooster.

Rob (Scully's date):
I don't know, but I don't suppose you want to hear about the finer points of the state planning and taxation?